Because I have bills to pay… 

9 am. Well…20 past to be precise.

What am I doing here?

Sitting at the desk which I hate. It is not even mine. They want us to be mobile so none get stick to one desk and this way we all can mix  and mingle.

Bullshit. I want to have my own desk, where I can leave my things. Headphones, charger, dirty mug, whatever… I want to belong to the place. I want to feel as part of it.

7 and a half hours to go. 1 hour lunch. that makes 6 hours and a half. Will I take lunch today? No. Most probably no because the schedule is fucked up and today we are pretty much under staffed. Shit.

My head is killing me. Didn’t sleep well. Cried almost whole evening. Have shitload to do but cant focus. I feel like literally get out of here. Checking my personal email every few minutes, waiting for the answer from the other company whether they want me there or not.

Is it so bad in here? Well….yes and no, it depends. I believe that changes are good. Yes, all changes are good. Just current changes are not good for me at this particular moment of my life. Therefore I am looking for another opportunity somewhere else. Hope it will work. Wish them (here) good luck.

Feel like writing. I could write for hours. Read and write. The problem is I have a bills to pay… so my time to write is limited. My time to read is limited too because after going back home I am so fuc*** tired I am falling asleep after 3 pages of the book… If I am off I do all the stuff I didn’t have time for during the week so then I am tired and dont feel like intellectual entertainment which makes me feel bad because this is what I would love to be occupied with instead of vacuuming and washing and cleaning and shopping… but someone has to do it right? 😦

Updated my mood tracker about 2 hours ago. Felt like shit already. Perfect start of the day. And it is only quarter to 10….

Finger crossed and I ‘ll make it. At least till 5pm. Because I have bills to pay…

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